By Hanne Baltzer
Are you going on maternity leave? Then we won't see you again! Christina Heintze received this comment when she told her colleagues that she was expecting her first child five years ago. "They were sceptical, but the shipping company was not. All I had to do was confirm when I expected to be back. The company emphasised that I needed to feel ready to work again, so I might have to wait until the baby was born to give a final date."
Christina returned to work at the agreed time. Beforehand, she had spoken to a health visitor about the best time for her young son, who was nine months old at the time.
The first week on the job, an extra man was put on, but after that she worked a regular shift.
"From my 'mum bubble' I had to find myself, but it was quick. After a night's sleep on board - the first uninterrupted sleep in many months - I felt completely refreshed. I also missed going to work. That it was everyday life again. No, I don't know any other female sailors who are also mums, but that doesn't mean it's not possible. For me, it seems fine to work this way, with a fortnight out followed by a fortnight at home."
Christina has a regular partner she swaps with. They have to make it work with holidays, illness, etc. This is the case for everyone on board, which means that it's also "familiar" colleagues she works with the next time she comes in. For her, it's important that being a mum doesn't "affect" her partner. That's why she also works during the festive season. The two of them are good at balancing work and holidays.
mate
She sails as 1st mate on Freesia Seaways, which sails between Gothenburg in Sweden and Immingham in England. The ship belongs to RO-RO - the collective term for ships that transport rolling stock ranging from lorry trailers to cars, such as Jaguar and Volvo. The difference from container ships is that here on Freesia Seaways they don't stack, they line up. And if you put everything in a long row here, you have to walk 4.6 kilometres to get from one end to the other. Christina loves loading and piloting the ship. She's also responsible for all the bridge equipment, which needs to be checked frequently. In addition, she is responsible for all purchases for her own department on the ship. She works 10-12 hours a day.
"I like the type of ship and my work. It's still fun and I like the game of making it all work. Plus, it fits in well with the kids that I'm only away for a fortnight at a time."
Agree on the way
When Christina returned from her second maternity leave a few years later, her male colleagues were no less sceptical. She's heard comments like: You can't sail when you have small children. Where are the kids while you're sailing?"
When she's told those who are fathers that they sail too, and that her husband is perfectly capable of looking after the children, the response is: "That's different."
"I couldn't do it the other way round. That I had to do everything myself and be alone with the children for a fortnight at a time. That's why I really appreciate that it's this family structure, which Simon also thinks can work. I can't take the children's first day of sick leave. That falls on Simon, but when the children had chickenpox, I was luckily at home."
When Christina and her husband Simon were dating in 2014, they decided that Christina could continue sailing if they had children. That is, if it was feasible and they could work it out. They've found an arrangement that works, so Simon can just work as an IT supporter two days a week. This leaves time for children and everything else at home.
"There is no recipe for being a good/bad mum. I know I can't make up for the lost 14 days, but when I'm home, the kids have short days at daycare and kindergarten and an occasional day off. The bedtime stories are probably longer too. It's also important that I don't change a lot. The children must still be able to function in their everyday life. They're used to the rhythm."
Missing and reunion
The children have to look at mum when she comes home. With her younger daughter, for example, she has experienced that she had to look at her and only wanted to hug her afterwards. The daughter is also aware of when mum goes out the door. Whether she'll be gone for a short or long time. The day before she has to leave for work, she tells her 4½-year-old son. They often talk about what they're going to do when mum gets home. She always leaves early in the morning while the rest of the house is asleep.
"I miss the kids when I'm at work, but not in that intolerable way that makes my stomach hurt. I don't Facetime with them, that would breed more missing for us. In addition, there are changing networks. So it's a luxury to have 14 days off a month. Then I relieve Simon so he can rest and have time for other things. That's why I'm able to train football and get some sleep."
Bible with
The Bible is always in the suitcase. Christina experiences different needs for reading it. For her, it's most important to pray the evening prayer because it allows her to reflect on the day and think about those at home. She gets to think about the people closest to her.
"Praying for others is one of the best things you can do for each other, I think. My grandmother prayed for her whole family. She has been an inspiration to me. Someone has asked if I want to be on a prayer list. I'm not so keen on that, because I don't think intercession should be a duty. Something you shell do," says 1st mate Christina Heintze.